I had another wardrobe emergency yesterday. I was getting my picture taken by my good old friend, Tristan Brand in Old Montreal– known for tourist traps, cobblestones, overpriced food, lots of cool old stuff, and being nowhere near my apartment– when I realized I had forgotten to pack a t-shirt for SweatFest. The horror! (One simply cannot sweat for two hours into one’s favourite blouse– nay, one’s only blouse that needs ironing.)
With no time to go home before class if I also wanted to eat (and trust me, you want eat a LOT when you do 28 dance classes in 28 days, or at least, I do) I had no where to turn but one of the area’s many tourist shops (seriously, there are so many, it’s like if you turn your back to cross the street, they mate, and when you turn around again, there are three new ones on the block, each one more gawky and nickel-plated than the last.)
Among the racks of suncatchers, cuddly stuffed polar-bears, and autum-leaf-stenciled polar-fleece hoodies, I weighed many fine options (brown shirt with slogan: “trust me, I’m a doctor,” royal blue shirt with superman logo bearing fleur de lys à la place du “S”, pink shirt with “Montreal” airbrushed over inexplicable glitter butterflies) and finally settled on this beauty:
Yes, that’s right, Two Wolf Amethyst Moon.
Please. Don’t tell me you’re not jealous.
Before you ask, there was a shirt with FOUR wolves, but it was not purple. So I sacrificed two wolves for grapeiness, and was it ever worth it. I feel more powerful with this shirt on, less tired. With this shirt, I am no mere mortal, no ordinary “recreational dancer.” On Sweatshop’s hallowed floors, with this shirt– these sacred threads– I am nothing less than a shimmering, elegant beast of prey. Choreography is mine. Extension is in my reach. Needless to say, everybody else wants one.
OK, now, if, after that mind-blowing burst of sartorial oomph, you still have it in you to gather your breath and your wits, I urge you to do so, because I’m pretty sure that what I am about to show you is, in fact, the new Best Thing On The Internet.
Can you do it? Are you breathing?
If you can remember back as far as yesterday, when I wrote about how peculiar it was to try to understand hula hooping and krumping in the same week (I mean, in the same lifetime, even, would be a lot to expect, for realz) then your brain will certainly explode when you see them together in one video clip, presented as HULA KRUMPING by one young “Billy Cure a.k.a. ‘B. Boy Rugrat’. Behold:
(you can safely jump to 0:50 to see the real action)
Now there’s a kid who doesn’t even need a wolf shirt to hold it down.
Related posts
- SweatFest, days 5-7: putting a krump in my style
- SweatFest, Day 4: The Dayoffening
- Sweatfest: Day 1, the kickoff
- SweatFest, Day 3: So much laundry on my mind
- Launching Rhythm and Blues with SweatFest!
- Sweatfest, Day 10: the Tao of the Leaderboard
