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How not to fix the roof

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One of the many hassles of renting instead of owning is that we’re not allowed to change anything serious in our apartment, and we have no control over how problems are “fixed.”

We’ve had a leaky ceiling in our living room since September, due to a leaky roof. The whole roof needs replacing, but the owner didn’t want to admit that until the other day, and now its too late in the season to contract a roofer– they’re all booked solid until the end of the year. We will have to wait for spring. Until then, the leak runs like a faucet into our closet.

The reason the leak falls into our apartment is that the roof drains into a pipe that runs into the building. I’m no engineer, but I know that if I designed a building, I would want to, as much as possible, keep water– especially rain water– out of the building. But generations of contractors have had a unique approach here on le Plateau, I suppose, so there is this pipe. Normal for flat roofs, I’m told, but not foolproof. And legend has it that we’re dealing with several generations of fools here.

The owner’s solution– apparently cribbed directly from a little-known HGTV show, Holmes On Crack: rig up a “funnel” (actually an old gas canister) directly under the spot where the leak drips now, collect the water, and divert it back into the delinquent drain pipe. Hold it all together with some trusty silicone. Then seal it in with a fresh piece of gyprock.

Yes, we’re looking at moving as soon as possible– preferably before the leak spreads and starts to overshoot the funnel. I give it three weeks if the weather holds. It’s only Montreal; how much can it possibly snow?




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