A short list of alternate winter holidays

By On December 23, 2007 · 1 Comment · In Uncategorized
  1. Winter Solstice
    • Pros: Days immediately begin to get longer, although this would probably happen even without a holiday. Many different associated holidays to choose from, worldwide.
    • Cons: What could be bad about that?
  2. Festivus
    • Pros: Airing of grievances, feats of strength, the aluminum pole is both re-usable and recyclable.
    • Cons: Possible wrestling injuries, commercialization of aluminum poles despite high strength-to-weight ratio, no bagels.
  3. Winter Wonderday
    • Pros: A chicken fills your pants with gifts.
    • Cons: Pants may chafe if worn prior to gift removal. Is the chicken operating of free will? Potentially not vegan.
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One Response to A short list of alternate winter holidays

  1. lauralyn says:
    December 25, 2007 at 5:00 pm

    I pitch for solstice. Next day = more light
    longest night of year = most flattering candle-lit holiday