Jill Murray

I’ve been browsing a lot of teen blogs lately, and I have to tell you, if you’re about my age or older as of the time of this writing, it is already over for you.

All of the things that you just spent the last decade figuring out? There’s a whole generation of individuals out there who were born knowing it. They’re practically cyborgs. They came of age after Flash was already not cool anymore. They’re starting blog networks and coding Ruby in their sleep. They’re entrepreneurs. All their friends are graphic designers, they read more than you do and they have more MySpace friends.

I’m not going to list all of these blogs right now. I think one at a time should suffice. We can make a miniseries of it.

Today’s Teen Blog That’s Putting Me In My Place is Banana Theory:

“The strangest thing about The Scandalous Pants is that once people see them, they tell me that their jeans begin doing the same thing. It has never happened to them before, but it seems to be the pants equivalent of yawning. As soon as one person yawns, you feel compelled to yawn, the power of suggestion being too strong. And when pants feel the tremendous power of The Scandalous Pants, they too rip along the inner thigh. By now, The Scandalous Pants are almost infamous.”

Man. I remember discovering my own first pair of Scandalous Pants back in the day. Being myself and not this triumphant Meredith chick writing Banana Theory, I was mortified. It never even occurred to me to have Scandalous Pride. I assumed the bedevilled pants-tearing was due to some deep seated thigh defect. I was depressed and embarrassed. I shall go back in time now and rescind my shame. Thank you, Meredith.