Jill Murray

1. Wash you some potatoes
2. Peel the same potatoes, saving the peelings for the soup stock you will hopefully make later. (Freeze peelings until that far off day.)
3. Remove nasty, potentially lethal, dark, brooding spots on potatoes, and anything sprouty.
4. Quarter those bad boys. Book ‘em. Boil ‘em until they’re tender.
5. Mash. (With a masher or ricer, or even a hand-mixer.)
6. Add some yummy Earth Balance margarine. As much as the recommended ceiling of your daily calorie intake will allow.
7. Add some soy milk to achieve desired consistency of creaminess.
8. Add some salt & freshly ground pepper.
9. Add some onion powder & garlic powder. Trust me on this. No, powdered bulb-vegetable-seasoning stuff is not automatically “ghetto.” It’s not. Stop looking at me like that.
10. Sprinkle in some CURRY POWDER, a little at a time. The idea is that you want them to taste like curry, but not in an overpowering way, nothing too spicy, nothing too WHOA CURRY.

Although, hello. WHOA! CURRY!

They’re going to be a kind of funny pale-yet-intense yellow colour, but I swear to Vishnu this stuff tastes better than icing.

And if you’re like, “Po-ta-to? What is po-ta-to?” and you’re not sure where to get them, and you live in Toronto or Vancouver, sign up for the bin from Green Earth Organics, and tell them you heard it from me. I know, it’s an exotic vegetable, but you can do this. You can.