Why do people insist on skating to Vivaldi's Four Seasons?

I know it’s pretty and dramatic and everything but it’s the music of ill portent, people. Surya Bonaly proved that to great effect years ago. Stop trying.

Also, note to the World: Enough with the Riverdance and Lord Of The Dance music already.

And if Nancy Kerrigan could commission a $13,000 dress from Vera Wang, why can’t someone, somewhere hire his local hip hop producer, or like, Kanye, to put together a decent instrumental track for a long program? Hunh? Why? Why?

Less chiffon people, more soul. Or Soul. Your choice.