Jill Murray
First, there was the sharp but dull constant but sudden ambiguous undiagnosable pain in the lower backal, hipular region, brought on by nothing.
Then the rollerblades + speedbump + pavement + teeth incident.
Then, there was the family on vacation + keys locked in house + tools + outside window + reaching into broken window + string that felt like a spider + pulling hand back sharply + broken glass + skin but thank goodness, not tendon experience.
A few years of calm followed but then it only got dumber.
I put out my shoulder while reaching for a takeout menu.
Then I put out my back while trying not to inconvenience my shoulder with the trivialities of breakdancing.
I broke a toe while practicing to build skill, balance and muscle in order to prevent injury.
I gave myself a second degree steam burn with the espresso maker while turning the heat down on my oatmeal.
And now, I present to you, maybe the dumbest injury of all, tied perhaps with the shoulder-menu thing:
I have slowly bruised my elbow by leaning on the desk too often while reading blogs and message boards all week.
Yep, that’s right. I have hurt myself reading.
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[...] I’m not going to go out of my way to identify who my mom is or what team she’s on because unlike La S., she’s not that fond of being mentioned in this blog, even if it’s as positive as: My mother, the supreme athlete of the universe, a woman who, unlike her daughter, injures herself only seriously and respectably, is in the provincial championship of curling, competing against people even younger than my little brother, most of whom probably even have the full use of all of their fingers– an unfair advantage if ever there was one in a sport that’s all about throwing and sweeping! [...]