I think that one reason it’s so easy for me to give up so much dairy so much of the time is that I was raised on margarine. Hey, don’t “ew”! I like margarine. But my point is, butter has always been a once-in-a-while delicacy for me, not a minimum requirement for toast consumption, as it is for some people.
When I was living with Lyndee (of the Calgary Detox Lyndees), any time her parents would visit, a brick of butter would show up in the fridge. After they left we’d look at it like “what do we do with this? What IS it?” And then I guess we’d eventually eat it when the margarine ran out because the cycle would start all over again the next time her parents came.
My margine-lovin’ livin’ has not always been peaceful. I recall a time around grade 8, during the holiday charity drive at school. My homeroom was selling popcorn at lunch, and they sent me running to the store to get more butter. I accidentally returned with margarine because I didn’t realize you could get margarine in a shiny foil brick. I thought that was a butter-exclusive trick. I was never sent to the store again. This was before it was publicly revealed that movie popcorn had been slathered in margarine for years. The truth came too late to save me.
While preferring margarine might aid in the long-term rejection of dairy, I can’t say it has helped me control my weight in the slightest. In truth, I was forced, against my will, to banish it from my fridge long ago. It makes only unwanted guest appearances. In its place, I have adopted olive oil. Sweet, pure, virgin olive oil: so golden-delicious, I could drink it from the bottle. But I don’t. We are at peace.
Cheeses uneaten: parmesan, cheddar
Eggs unbeaten: scrambled
Uncheese enjoyed: melty white cheez sauce
Alternate Source of Life-Sustaining Grease Consumed at 1 am: Olive oil (with balsamic & bread), walnuts, almonds
Publication not picked up at the Price Chopper: Pleasure of Cheese
Mystery cheesy smell lingering in kitchen: Inexplicable
Missing it: not yet
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